Screwing Everything Up Is a Funny Way of Helping

To commemorate my grandmother falling and breaking her hip—requiring surgery tomorrow—I propose a tale…

I heard a story once. The story was about a bear who wandered out of the woods. His location was a gated community in Ridgefield, Connecticut. His motivation: one of the new constructions was on fire. He stood, fascinated, wondering what possible difference the destruction of a fully insured five-bedroom home in suburban Connecticut would make, from the perspective of…well, of anyone. The contractor would call the owner. The owner would call State Farm. State Farm would make a few phone calls internally, schedule a meeting, and build a spreadsheet detailing the lost materials and labor costs. Another phone call would be made, and a check would be cut. Et cetera.

But if the wind blows the hat off a beggar...

When the bear had finished, he wandered off. Eventually he found his way into the swimming pool of an adjecent property. It made the local news.

I have a confession to make: there was no bear, and I was invited into the swimming pool. This is the entry, such as it is.